Exam Eve

Guten Tag, here I am sick. But no whining, cos paradoxically, I feel more concentrated . Haha.
Anyway I realised that some people around me have managed to apply to leave their faculty to go places like Law and Medicine in time. It was quite sickening to know that I missed the deadline by 1 month because it was during the time-starved study week 2 months back.
I seriously doubt I'll apply for Medicine next year. Gosh, how old will i be then? lol

I shall just continuing bumming on this creaky wagon that everyone's trying to escape as they heard the last stop is quite a shitty place.

Personally I love biological and organic molecules as well as having a chance to learn German. Can Medicine offer that to me?

Between a stable future and earnestly pursuing one's own passion and interests, how many people are studying something just for a better pay?

I better stop sounding too noble. I might end up nowhere 3 years later. lol.

Meanwhile, all hail Biopolis, hope it can deliver us to the promised land. =D

Sad Singapore?

My MSN list of nicks are often within the range of ok-mood to pessimistic-emo moods. Which sort of tells me my friends are under constant moodiness. I even saw a nick saying " I recommend suicide ".

Back to my german paper, but for a objective view on its passage. The cloze-text was saying that the average German has 80 hours of free time per week. Some people might have free-time stress cos they either don't know what to do since there's so many things and activities to take up OR they have too much activities engulfing them.

How much free time does an average Singaporean have?

I can't speak for the large population. But I'll just sample myself and do a bad extrapolation.

First of all I need to figure out what "free-time" means? Sleep included?

80 Stunden pro Woche
Germans have a shiok empty weekend so that's = 48 hours.
Assume they work 8 to 5 pm daily and sleep at 12 that's = 5 X 7 = 35 hours.
That's 83 hours. But I still can't comprehend why I need to take the weekend as 48 hours to get close to 80 hours.

Then let's assume they wake up at 10 am, sleep at 12pm. => 14 hours X 2 = 28 hours on weekend.

Then maybe they work 10 to 5 pm => 35 + 5(2) = 45 hrs.
45 + 28 = 73 hrs. Ok. not so bad.

Back to my life.

Monday : Lessons 12 - 6 pm. Free-time = 9 hours (wake up 10 am, sleep 1 am)
Tuesday: Lessons 10 - 8pm (pretty sad). Free-time = 6 hours
Wed : Lessons 1 - 4 pm (great!) Free time = 12 hours
Thurs : Lessons 9 - 8 pm (misery) Free time = 6.5 hours
Fri : Lessons 2 - 6 pm (alt. week no sch) Free time = 11 hours or 15 hours
Sat & Sun : 30 hours.

Grand total : 65.5 + 11 or 15 = 76.5 or 80.5 hrs

But whether I enjoy myself within these 80.5 hours or not is another question.
If on average I mug 4 hours on weekdays and 6 on weekends then => 80.5 becomes 48.5 hours.
but then again experiences tells me that only after major tests do we really feel that free leisure time exists.

We are weird, I think. After exams we'll probably whine about having nothing to do.

what are our expectations exactly?

At the pit of mental will and energy.

I rose up from bed this morning/afternoon (close to 12noon) to find myself having weak limbs and a sore torso. Even after breakfast I still felt lethargic. Spoke to my mum about how I feel this time about the exams. That I'll not do as well as before.
I should not be overly stressed she said. Which I think sounds pretty true.

Right now I'm just still a little sad over my german results. Sad that I probably can't maintain my grades for german anymore. Regretfully, I regurgitated out the thought of not going for germany immersion and boy it feels kinda sourishly bad. I betta maximise my HK stay after exams. Maybe even stay longer to feel the local culture properly.

I also hope that she will not simply go/look offline so quickly.

I hope I'll get out of this loserish cycle quick and resume the normal self.

I need an optimistic read somewhere, somehow.

Pitfalls on beliefs

One of my problems in reading philosophy is that I tend to adhere to philosophies I find true to Life. But I should just read more philosophers' work and not get tied down to one's single work. Am I turning pessimistic like dear Schopenhauer? If such, perhaps I might even doubt the idea of a marriage.

What is the zest of Life? Should we even have it?

Recent events have somewhat stirred my conviction that hard work will always bring me through.
Either I need to push myself even harder or maybe I should resignate myself to my depressed mind state.

Maybe I equate my studies too strongly to the foundations of my future life, such that even a single crack in the pillars makes my sirens run wild.

Where has my confidence gone?

But I should always remind myself that I'm the unlimited, undepletable source of my own confidence.

It can be done.