Pitfalls on beliefs

One of my problems in reading philosophy is that I tend to adhere to philosophies I find true to Life. But I should just read more philosophers' work and not get tied down to one's single work. Am I turning pessimistic like dear Schopenhauer? If such, perhaps I might even doubt the idea of a marriage.

What is the zest of Life? Should we even have it?

Recent events have somewhat stirred my conviction that hard work will always bring me through.
Either I need to push myself even harder or maybe I should resignate myself to my depressed mind state.

Maybe I equate my studies too strongly to the foundations of my future life, such that even a single crack in the pillars makes my sirens run wild.

Where has my confidence gone?

But I should always remind myself that I'm the unlimited, undepletable source of my own confidence.

It can be done.