19 years in a flash.

The path towards the late adolescence began with guided wandering to an overlooked misfooting leading to a jump off the cliff and back to the highlands. Childhood was sweet and simple. I was the only child in the house and still remains status quo. I was glad very little demands were placed on me as a child, however not too little as to result in delinquency. I didn't lead the life of tuition, piano, guitar classes, maybe even ballet (it's just weird why parents make kids go for ballet). I was just an urban kampong boy speaking English, Mandarin and Teochew mingling among the middle-working socioeconomic class. I feel it's great, had the chance to jump off letter boxes, balconies (2nd floor only), get bullied, experience corporal punishment. I always had the 'good to bully' charm that goes with me everywhere; I didn't know whether I'd cry after each encounter but I felt happy when my family towers over those small bullies and reprimands them. My maternal grandpa would just scream gibberish at Indian boys (trademark of early immigrants). Learnt quite a mouthful of profanities from my maternal grandma : Penis, Vagina, Smelly Vagina, Incest, Coffin Boy, whatever balls.
Learning them gave me a series of 5mm rattan cane strokes on my body courtesy of my mum.
My mum was the discipline mistress. I hated her when I was young, but love her to bits when I grew older. We're close friends actually, discussions are pretty open too.
Primary School was fast and sweet, life then was Dragonball Z cards, reenactment of drama scenes especially those of divine powers, ping-pong, soccer, basketball, swimming.
Got into SAS and for goodness' sake, studying without girls was a torture, just look at my lower secondary grades. Screwed my sec 2 streaming (too much of skateboarding), got a crap combinaton with not much hope of going to any good schools. Even my bio teacher told me to go poly. Plus a sprinkle of insensitive people, demoralised was I. There were occasions when there was the urge to breakdown and cry.
Come 2002, I was darn lucky to enter SAJC. I finally had my chance to study my favourite combination. Had a relaxed and cute class for 2 years.
From upper secondary till now, I started reading Buddhist texts and it elicited a dramatic shift in perspective. Semi-aggressive competitiveness, negative aloofness, occassional reluctance to 'de-tense' all stem from insecurity. You'd like to have something; you've fixed your eye on it. You watch it move away/disappear from you, your emotions take control. And actions resulting from such causes can be real screw-ups for self and others. One must recognise the impermanence of all things so as to live well and happy. Recognising and incorporating this essential quality of reality naturally makes one more generous, harbour less nonsensical thoughts that yield insecurity. Insecurity just makes things foul and people less happy.
I was once approached by a net friend who asked if I wanted to join his business ( similar to MLM ). In his proposal and business plan which had some Philosophy section, there was purpose in life and he gladly told me his purpose in life is to earn sufficient money to achieve financial stability. Understandly, it's all about freedom. Months later, I understood Freedom is all about a path that would possibly lead to Happiness and Happiness is our subconscious purpose in Life. I wonder what the future holds after my 19 years of existence. Maybe I shouldn't even think about it.